the next show I’m producing:

Comedian

Writer

Host

UPCOMING SHOWS

*

UPCOMING SHOWS *

DON’T TELL COMEDY

JULY 3 — 8 PM

Exact location TBA
Phoenix, AZ

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JULY

FEATURING FOR
PATRICK GARRITY

JULY 9 — 7 PM

Elks Theatre
Prescott, AZ

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“INSIDE”
COMEDY SHOWCASE
(WITH CATS)

JULY 17 — 8 PM (DOORS 7)

Phx Cat Cafe (North)
Glendale, AZ

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STAND UP COMEDY SHOWCASE

JULY 25 — 7 PM

The 44
Glendale, AZ

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FEATURING FOR
CHRIS MOSLEY

AUGUST 9 — 8:30 PM

Mic Drop Comedy Club
Chandler, AZ

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AUGUST

FUNNIEST COMIC
IN THE VALLEY
COMPETITION SEMI-FINAL

AUGUST 12 — 7:30 PM

Tempe Improv
Tempe, AZ

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HOSTING FOR
JULIO GONZALEZ

SEPTEMBER 4 & 5
(MULTIPLE TIMES)

Stir Crazy Comedy Club
Glendale, AZ

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BEYOND

COMING SOON

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COMING SOON

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I MAKE ALL MY OWN MERCH

Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles
Napkin On Drink - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles
$35.00

Designed and made by hand by Garret Schwartz. If you come to a show, you might have heard the joke that this shirt was based on - it’s a dark subject, but the joke and the shirt actually provide a positive message… Don’t get a false sense of security out there!

If you buy a shirt, I'll include a free sticker too! Also available separately.

Prescott, Arizona Sticker Prescott, Arizona Sticker
Prescott, Arizona Sticker
$3.00

Stickers with attitude!

This design is inspired by a line from Garret’s joke about his hometown, Prescott, Arizona. All stickers are designed and made with love by Garret Schwartz in Phoenix, Arizona.

Size: 2.5” x 1.75”

Perfect for your water bottle, public restrooms, a light pole in a weird part of town. Not safe for pet or medical purposes.

BASIC MERCH SHIRT - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles) BASIC MERCH SHIRT - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles) BASIC MERCH SHIRT - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles) BASIC MERCH SHIRT - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles) BASIC MERCH SHIRT - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles) BASIC MERCH SHIRT - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles) BASIC MERCH SHIRT - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles)
Sale
BASIC MERCH SHIRT - Shirt by Garret Schwartz (multiple styles)
$30.00 $35.00

Designed and made by hand by Garret Schwartz.

If you buy a shirt, I'll include a free sticker too! Also available separately.

Shop All

GARRET WAS

HERE

(performing)