Funny story…

Garret Schwartz — deadpan, ironically critical, sarcastic, and silly. His playful style and clever material surprise people and make them laugh as he delivers true stories, hot takes, and pure absurdity.

Raised in rural northern Arizona, Garret worked basic labor since age 12, failed 8th grade, and barely graduated high school. He eventually worked in writing-related fields and, mostly out of spite, got scholarships at ASU and graduated Summa Cum Laude.

Garret has a stubborn addiction to writing and getting up on stage. He comes to every booked show with tested material, and he stays ready to adapt in real time as he reads the crowd.

Garret now regularly works as a weekend host at Stir Crazy Comedy Club, and appears at various clubs for guest spots, showcases and themed shows. He performs across Arizona and beyond, including at Stir Crazy, Mic Drop, House of Comedy, and Wiseguys SLC (scroll down for more). He’s a reliable and professional host, and adaptable feature for any show.

Garret also loves good food and passionate conversation. Find him alone with a notepad in a gritty dive bar or catching up with friends over coffee and cookies - preferably chocolate chip. He loves the busy energy of the city but he also misses being around trees and nature.